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18 Jul 2005

Maria
It rips through my chest
Sawing my breastbone
Exposing the core of all I feel
Heart and blood spilling
Screaming at each touch
I fasten the buttons on my shirt
Neatly, tightly, closing it all in
Perception not always reality
Keeping it together
Lining toothbrush next to toothpaste
Only white dinner plates
8 of each … a perfect set
Everything orderly
Everything in a row
Yet, it catches me unawares ...
Moments when there’s a lull
Mid way through a task
At the traffic light
In between dreams …
Heart and blood gushing to the fore
Pain paralysing my very being
Sadness and grief overwhelming me
Too big to comprehend …
Too debilitating to feel …
My soul … it aches
My lips … they smile

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Maria

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