How it feels to feel

Today I felt for the first time in a while, and I didn’t know how to feel.  
Laughter, tears, sadness; these things I just don’t understand anymore.
But today I felt how it feels to feel, alone on my bathroom floor.
I never knew tears could feel so good, 
Their salty caress hasn’t soothed me in a while.
Today I felt pain and sadness all at once; who knew it could fill me with joy?
These two friends I haven’t met in a while caused my heart feel heavy with nostalgia; because now I remember how to feel.
Today I felt for the first time in a while, and I didn’t know how to feel.
With eyes red and swollen, heart heavy and broken
My feelings no longer bottled inside.
No longer the numbness but the sweet feeling of pain filled me up; 
And for the first time it felt so good.
They say time will heal the saddest of souls and take all the pain away.
If this is true, then I beg you time, stand still.
Let me feel all of this today.
If sadness is all that I am allowed to feel than I’ll take it all,
Please lay it all on me.
Because today I felt this, and for the first time in a while
I remember how it feels to feel.