you were there for the thunder and stayed during the downpour remaining all through the calm after the siege. I had no right but still couldn't help myself believing you would always be there, that you cared and maybe I was a bit more than naive. the lesson in hindsight is fractured at best, I can no longer be the way we used to without walls without boundaries, I kept giving until I dropped off the face of the stagnate losing myself in the fall. and I don't know how to tell you it was never about you and me only you, always you I lulled myself into receiving some fashion of something twisted, I thought it was love only now do I realize it was me, always me thinking about us caring about the cracks in the veneer, how could I have been so deaf, dumb and running on fear...

© alisajs


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