lost

for as long as I can remember
theres been a void, a gap in my life
I fill it with a smile that I paint on each morning
and everyone thinks that im fine
no one looks behind the mask
they don't want, nor care to see
they wouldn't know what to say or do,
if they saw what was consuming me.

im tired
im drained
im lonely and lost
but I just cant figure it out
I don't know what is missing right now
in creeps the self doubt

in bed I lie so tired
yet stare at the ceiling like ive just woke up
my eyes will close, but my mind just cant 
im on the edge like im going to erupt

with nowhere to turn I am lost
there is no exit door
no stage left or escape route
swallowed up by the floor
no one to help me out of this place 
where I don't need to plaster a smile on my face
where I don't need to pretend any more
where someone will show me the exit door

I see a light at the end of the tunnel
and I can be happy once more
I just need to get through day by day
and one day I will be sure
sure of life and sure of living
making it day by day
there is only one way to find out of course
thats living my life that way