Torch Singer...

Had I the voice-
(the opportunity, of course)
and belonged to another era...
to have become a torch
singer,
melancholy,
pathos my song-
a diva of pain
draped in pearls,
satin
- a black-and-white vision
from the 40's...
Though now, I wonder
why always, sorrow pulls
me in-
and how, just out of high school,
I was though of as strange-
still mesmerized by the Beatles'
"Yesterday"...

And my mothers records
(in Hungarian at that,)
fueled my brooding
Yes, I remember all those
long-dead balladeers...
My song, it would bring tears-
that good hurt-
catharsis.
It wouldn't uplift,
nor inspire-
wouldn't be a sappy, feel-good
"La la la."
Just darkness,
grunge even...
So dive right in,
close your eyes
as you lift your glass,
drink up,
sob
and remember --
treachery.