No Tears Of Joy

No more tears of joy
Only tears of sorrow haunt me each and every day
In bereavement for family and loved ones prematurely taken away
Permanently my head is bowed in a sorrowful way
When I was a child I had a dream 
That when I grew up I expected a happy life
I expected a loving child and a wife
In a nice house and neighbourhood
A nice car to get me from A to B
But that dream has not worked out for me
The more loved ones that where taken away
The more my mental capacity went astray
Until came the point I could take no more
I felt the grim reaper was knocking at my door
There where times i was going to let him in
Then God could judge me sin by sin
I was going to allow him to take my soul
For my mind was out of control
I was even going to do his job for him
Suicidal I tried to do myself in
But being a coward my second thoughts considered it to be a sin
In this predicament I just carn't win
So today and yesterday and all the tomorrows
I will have my head bowed with the ground close to my chin

reefaman

I have a mental health illness and I was a inpatient in a private secure mental health hospital not because i was a danger to the public but because i myself was the only person who was in danger from me was myself and that will reflect in my poetry...

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