I, the Peacock

Nothing glows in the sunlight like I, the Peacock,
For my arrogance only shines with the attention awarded to me.
Presented harshly by admirers and enemies alike,
Licking their lips as they dream of me roasting over a naked flame.
I seek not to be, for I already am; the bearer of the tail-fan.
Mesmerizing males and females into a frenzy of confusion,
As my beauty blinds them from their own.
Sounding my excruciating call, for them to remember I am a freak.
A sadist to the weak and a predator to the elusive truth.
My beauty carries the weight of a disgusting life,
Lived in my secret garden of unequivocal deceit.
With only my ugly, boney legs to drag me through the weeds.
Abstractly masochistic, as I stare at my blood,
Dripping from the claws of my nemesis.
Yearning for Her to scrap the dirt from my skin,
Sacrificing my glossy plumage for a taste of absolution.
Absolution no religion and no priest could provide in a cubicle or prayer.
My sins are not culpable and forgiveness cannot bleed from His side.
For my sins are not commited, but felt at every moment,
I surrender myself to the encompassing beauty of my darkness.
16 March 2003 (RSA)