My soul is tainted

My soul is tainted
I cannot think
I fumble with my thoughts
There is no flow, no smooth, no ...
I stutter with my words, 
so ask me not to write
Ask me not to create and 
look upon me not to inspire
I beg of you
In fact just let me be,
My soul is tainted ...
I need this time to waste,
These hours to simply past,
Like the ships we don’t see in the night
Ah but I can read your thoughts;
If we not see them, they are still there
Yes yes yes, but ...
My soul is tainted, 
so judge me not,
I cannot think,
Tis my defense you see, 
I fumble with my thoughts, 
Keep me not accountable for them,
My words, images are jumbled, half made up.
Ill conceived, few and far between.
Yes the words I speak are few.
But wait, Jesus when he died;
The Words He spoke were few.
I heard He said; “this blood’s for you”
But I less than angel, DARE I COMPARE?
Forgiveness please O “Son of Man”
My soul is tainted
Judge me not
I pray this time would pass,
I pray that thoughts return,
I pray that words may flow,
Unhindered, uncontained, uninhibited ...
Wait! Did I just pray?
Ah but there I see it now
For what is next to follow?
and in this vain ...
My soul is tainted;
I cannot speak?
My soul is tainted,
I cannot sing?
My soul is tainted
I cannot be…?