Sleeping Child

13 Jan 2005

shaz
Does the child hear you crying?  Does she hear you weep?
Do you think she’s so quiet she must be sound asleep?
Don’t you know she’s wide-awake and hears your every fight?
Can’t you see she’s crying, herself to sleep at night?
She doesn’t want to listen but she can’t help at all
She tries to cover up herself with something tight and small
She turns her head to face the wall, she tries to shut it out
But she’s so scared and frightened by every single shout
Eventually she is in a state she can take no more
She rushes out the bedroom, downstairs, and in the door
She hopes that it’s the TV that’s making all the noise
She pretends she’s come downstairs just to fetch her toys
“Why is Mummy crying Dad and why are you so mad”?
“What’s so wrong with both of you, why’d you look so sad”?
“Why is Mummy bleeding Dad, what’s running down her face”?
I’d seen this scene so many times, I didn’t like this place
Why cant you be happy folk like I want you to be?
What is it that makes you fight, is it something else or me?
Why cant you just sleep like me and lay in bed at night?
Why when I turn my back do both of you still fight?
I’m tired of the shouting, I’m tired of the life
I’m sick of hearing 'make a choice, her or kids and wife'
I can’t take all the troubles ,I cant take it anymore
Please stop the screaming Mummy,I gently closed the door
I’m too small to help them I cant fix their pain
I’ll just go upstairs now and try to sleep again
I’ll dream of parent’s happy, I’ll dream of things I like
I’ll think of Christmas coming and will I get that bike?
I’ll block out all the bad things and think of only smiles
I’ll pretend I didn’t hear Mums head against the tiles
I’ll make out I’m a pirate sailing on the sea
I'll go and wake my brother so he can play with me
I think its all gone silent, I think they’ve gone to bed
They could be gently sleeping or what if Mummy’s dead?
I’ll have to go and check again I can’t sleep well just yet
I’ll have to go downstairs just now, I’ll never sleep just fret
I gently creep upon the stairs and listen at the door
It's just some gentle weeping there’s no shouting anymore
One day when I am bigger I’ll make them smile not sob
That will be my thing in life, I'll make that just my job
So now that I am older I tried so hard to learn 
I tried to block out everything to make a full swing turn
I want to push the hated thoughts to way back in the past
I thought I’d got it covered, I thought that it would last
I am that small girl crying, I am still lying here
Sometimes I still can’t sleep when loud voices I can hear
You’ll never feel what I feel, you’ll never know the pain
I wish I could take you back and you could take my strain
I wish I hadn’t heard you, I wish that wasn’t so
I wish you both could feel this so Mum and Dad could know
This little girl is hurting, she’s crying deep inside
This little girl is running, she’s scared and wants to hide
I don’t ever want to be you, don’t want to be your child
I never want to be like you so angry, cross and wild
I will show you parents, show you how bad you messed
I will treat my children good, that’s my self-sat test
I won’t hate my partner, I won’t shout and scream
He wont hit me either together we're a team
I will love my children so, and teach them what is right
But mostly I won’t let them, cry themselves to sleep at night.

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shaz

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