Roller Coaster

I have always understood the need
For life’s ups and downs, without one,
The other would loose all meaning.
How could we know happiness
Without sadness to compare it to?
But what happens when the roller coaster
Becomes too much to bear?

The nausea of the constant up and down
Has begun to drown out all else,
The soul searching, and hanging of artificial
Lights to guide me through the darkness
Has begun to wear thin, I have trouble
Lifting my arm to hang the next,

I try to hold tight to the two hands
That keep me grounded, that depend
On me, to help me through the next wave
Of ever coming darkness, about to break
On the shore of my mind, but I am week,
Each time the wave hits, my strength wanes
It’s only a matter of time before I loose my grip

I have hoped someone would understand
Hoped someone would help, but I cannot!
Take the help that has been offered,
My mind is precious to me, I refuse
To change a single thing, but that is the problem.
“Just take the edge off,” they say,
“Look at us, come be like us, it helped us,”
It feels like they hate! me
As they beckon me to join the cult
Of drug induced calm that strips 
Away the desire to be different,

All I have ever asked is for someone
To understand me, to be there,
To make me feel like I am not alone,
But as the two holding my hand,
The only two to stay with me,
Begin to pull away from my grip
As my fight against the darkness
They cannot see, pains them more and more,
I begin to wonder if it would be better to let go?

How I hate the ups and downs,
How I wish I could get off.

Mental Journey

I am on a journey of the mind. Contemplating the universe on every scale, and doing a complete introspective exploration. I may never be a literary academic, but I share my humble thoughts in hope that they may inspire others.

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