Unarmed villain

Dear lover, lost and lovely 
You don't like it so I'm sorry, 
I won't call you my lover 
or anything you don't like ever. 
Yet, I have something to say 
as I can't bear anymore this weight 
of words that remain unsaid 
and life which feels so dead.  
 
Dear pretty, Ms. A , I'm not as wise but I want you to understand
Though I know you won't see it but I can't be silent 
You know I have tried silence for years
And it works everywhere but not on remanants of yours. 
I have been a mad person so jealous and insecure 
that I have always doubted you and your acts fuelled it more.  
But probably that's how you act when you love someone so dearly , 
You can't bear presence of anyone else in her life even if they've known her  barely. 
 
I know people today would call me a crazy man 
someone whom feminists demand to be in prison 
as I'd stop you from seeing someone else 
while I'd still love you more than myself. 
I'd probably be labelled a "rapist" of free will and free voice 
A potential villain of "my body my choice" 
and I'd be played by the ugliest man in the movies 
who'd be thoroughly abused, beaten and hated . 

I can't relate to what they sing these days , 
probably because I'm an outcast only meant for hatred. 
But they don't even care for my existence, 
I realize now that I'm not even hated. 
I'm simply forelorn and forgotten 
and my name's been blackened by humans. 

I have tried to find peace 
in studies and movies (not mainstream) .
I'd think I'll get solace in someone someday 
But I can't drink, smoke or bet 
but also 'coz once you said I'm modest
and modest men don't do acts so low 
chivalrous acts are what a man should show. 

I can't go back to old ways, 
I'm now too numb and... ah well 
Enough done and enough said, 
I'm proud that I was even talked to once by a model 
who easily forgot me but for me, she remains unforgotten
Over five years have passed and I'm still here,
If you'd see this, you must be glad , dear oh Dear... .