Queen of hearts

Was invited by
the queen of hearts (I think)
to some sunset schwa-ray
 
Dusted off the old penguin suite
Damn, I still look good
Took a short cut
through the enchanted woods
Got to the palace
in the nick on time
Serving my favourite red wine
 
Watched a catfight
between snow-white
and goldilocks
Apparently prince charming
was a two-timing pig
At least, that’s what I heard
 
Little red riding hood
was burning up the dance floor
with grannies new suede shoes
I went to have a puff on the veranda
Then spoke to a two-faced
girl called Miranda
Glanced at the ceiling
Saw the ginger bread man
hanging from a chandelier
Purple underwear sticking out
Urgh!! not very appealing
 
Caught the big bad wolf,
trying to steal my
half-baked crumpets
and lemony creams
Had to laugh at
his pink polka dot shoes
 
A clock struck twelve
Carried on shoulders
were some drunken elves
Swaying from left to right
Some still on wheel-barrels
as they lay,
In the garden, snoring
I woke up with
chipmunks knocking
In my head this morning…