The Morning After

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The Morning After

Like someone else’s life
Like a whole in my reality that I couldn’t escape from
This last day engulfed me,
It made my bones shake.
Someone told me I looked like a princess from a soap opera
But after that morning I felt like a Stepford wife gone insane.
The pill was so small I almost lost it down that beep dark drain hole.
I almost lost my heart; which leapt from my chest
Before I caught it down my throat 
Along with that drug,
Which shouldn’t have been mine.
I felt all alone.
I couldn’t cry. 
I live in an arid body, a soul that saw rain ten years ago
He stood beside me, fire eyes watching my soul fill with water
I wiped at my eyes but they were still dry as a bone
And he was still there, standing, seeing everything
Not letting me go 
Not letting me go
If I could put him in his place, I’d punch him a hole
To the place in my stomach where the butterflies lie.
We never thought those butterflies would bite.

This last day felt like an autopsy into my whole being,
Strung inside out and hung up to dry
Put on a pedestal that I made.
I couldn’t reach it without flying
But this morning I lost my wings
I flew too close to the sun.
It singed both of us, as I now know
Our wings are linked by golden feathers and you can feel like fire my every mistake.
And I feel your hurts.
We make a connection
That cannot be severed 
But this morning we tried to pull away.
Both were burned.
I had a revelation
Like someone else’s life,
Like something too much to handle
Like you sewed up my wings and wet my soul
With our mistake
I’ve grown older.