Imaginary Suicide

18 Mar 2020

I can't live without you
yet I can't have you near
I don't want to continue
this depraved love affair
but the escape hatch is stuck 

I climb this familiar ladder 
and throw over the rope
good and firm it's tied
...loving you has become
my imaginary suicide

I don't know how to love you
I don't know where I went wrong
can't breakaway from this noose
so hating you has become 
the ritual that I hang myself from

I stand at the top
and pull the knot snug
I jump until I die
...loving you has become
my imaginary suicide

what will it take to set me free?
must I die for real?

I can't take the incertitude
you love me then leave
you return and cry thief!
I need protection from 
your hateful heart of deceit 

someone save me!
you take passive-aggressive
to a whole new level

as I swing in my haste
the knot slips loose,
like every time before, 
I fall to the floor... alive
in my imaginary suicide







A writer at heart, Undawnted's own creative spark, DL Mullan, began writing short stories and poetry before adolescence. Ms. Mullan decided to showcase her literary talents by publishing collections of her poems. She also writes novels, designs...

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