4AM

It’s 4 in the morning and you just woke me up I’m heading to the kitchen need to fill my coffee cup It’s been 5 months since we spoken and your a constant on my mind My love is ever present and it just can’t leave you behind And cause the pains so fucking strong it always wants to have its say But I keep it deep inside of me don’t put it on display And it’s taken so much writing , and time to process my perceptions And when looking back at us I cringe , wishing I could carry out corrections My anger and anxieties had adrenaline push my speech But your the human I dream I’m next to when I’m dreaming of the beach I wanna take you everywhere , so proud of my missing piece And I’d wait for you forever babes but now I’d sit and wait in peace And I’ve realised now that my mistakes cost me my best friend And pushed my lover to the brink when she’s tying my loose ends I put her under pressure while she needed my support Such a shame I had to lose her before the hurt made me self taught And now I feel ashamed of me and how I tried to take up all your space And how I had to go through this to end up in this place A lost unique connection which was stronger than my broadband A love I’d never felt before until my fingers slipped in your hand You know when you been in the cold and then you feel the fire burning You body feels all warm inside your cells take pleasure turning That’s how I feel when I’m with her when she holds me I’m complete I turn that moment into music and then I play it on repeat My soul mates sleeping next to me even if that’s only once a week When I’m leaving in the morning I’ll still kiss her on her cheek I wanna make her coffee too I regret not regressing to her rock I was far to fucking selfish should have manned up like my stock I made your life more difficult and it’s taken months to work it to the conscious But I’m learning more about my brain now and I get why you don’t want us I don’t want to interfere with you but can’t go on without you knowing That without you around and in my life there’s no room that’s ever glowing My shit forgot that your so special and the most caring fucking human I know it’s me that fucked us up my shit views and how I viewed em But your my partner your my piece your my perfect fucking person And I know we been through so much shit and it must feel like it could worsen I’ve seen my wrongs I’ve seen my bad I’d change to Mr right Cause there never be another you who wakes me up at night I feel like somethings missing like my body’s lost it’s feet Like it’s lost the only person who made its core systems complete And living life with no you at all with you totally omitted Means if life gives me my soul mate one more time I’ll be totally committed You had me at the worst time, I’ve even been confused by concentration My mind forgot how much I loved you and abused with condemnation But deep inside my aura, soul and everything I be Your the only woman in this world who I wish could be with me And as much as it will break my heart I get if time will just move on It don’t matter what goes on in life I’ll always love you strong There never be another us you turn my stomach up in knots I wish I could have one more chance Just to love you fucking lots But I get that things I done made you fall out of love How ways I kept on acting was like compression from above And Deb I’m just so sorry for all the times I gave ill will For times when i upset you and for forgetting how you feel Your soul is just so perfect your gorgeous inside out You turn me on like no one else and that’s never been in doubt I wished I had been healed some more feel sick at what I’ve wasted Cause that’s the first time in my life that true love was really tasted