A Day Without You

The morning light still shining through uneven and tattered curtains haplessly defending my bedroom. Stale smells of morning coffee long since cleared fill me while wandering through the lobby. Favored notes and chords calm my lonely soul as I drive. A man begs for money while clutching his cardboard billboard. My eyes still slathered in morning haze, My heart too full of self pity. Gaze averted, I pass him by. I wonder if I will miss your ever present footprints upon my windshield, I would have never allowed another’s. Finger smudges of yours cover my passenger door. I always opened it for you, still… Your fingerprints. Black shows every speck of dirt. Passing by carwashes, I contemplate stopping. My lunch still tastes the same. Perhaps my appetite now lessened. You never made me lunch, To be fair, I never asked. The house is cleaner now. Never dirty, You constantly left things out of place. Caps and tops removed, A gum wrapper discarded, Little scraps establishing your recent path. I must confess sometimes when I’d pick up these little pieces of you I’d smile, It was just one of those things I loved without reason. The house is cleaner now. I stopped making the bed today, It seems silly for a man to have stuffed animals inhabiting his mattress. Beasts we came to love now forfeited amongst the casualties of my closet. Sometimes I miss them. Too proud to display them once more. My days flow by mostly with ease. The nights have failed to be so kind. Grainy pictured Seinfeld reruns don’t seem quite as funny without laughter to accompany my own. Remembering the light emitted from your laptop reflected upon your face. The familiar clatter from your fingers cycling through the keys. So much time wasted with you by my side. I miss most your head pressed against my stomach as you breathed heavy in dreams. My breathing regulated and precise so as not to disturb your slumber. Sleep lost then ensuring your comfort, Sleep lost now searching for consolation. I don’t look forward to the days ahead when I scroll through these words with remorse and pain. For as I type these words, Still you lay sleeping in our bed. You couldn’t know that I know. You have already left me. But all I am losing is you.