A Friend in Need

I decided I would end it all By committing suicide So I bought a reference book ‘The Hang Yourself’ guide All I needed was some rope Handcuffs and a chair And soon I would be lifeless Twirling in mid air I secured the knotted rope Around a strong wall hook Handcuffs on behind my back Just like in the book I found a chair, positioned it Just beneath the rope Now the time had come for me To abandon all my hope I put my head into the noose Now I was all set To play out the final curtain Nothing to regret But just as I ‘m about to kick The chair away, I find I am not the suicidal type So I changed my mind But stuck up there, on the chair I could not get down However, my dear girlfriend Would soon be back from town For two hours I stood up there My legs were tiring fast I heard her door key turning She was home at last! My girl came in and looked at me Her face broke in a frown ‘Come on right over here’ I said ‘And help me to get down’ She replied ‘I would never dream Of leaving you up there’ Then she smiled at me, blew a kiss And kicked away the chair