A Poet's Dishonor

i can see my destiny is chasing me yet i continue to fall prey to my pride as it continues to feed on what is left of my emotions, through rot and decay it is ravenous on the past disturbances and dismays it continues to regurgitate the livid answers that arise from my fate my past is haunting me at no fault of my own i dont take responsibility for something i have chosen to disown my pride has made me blind it has clouded my self righteous mind so i am creating a schism between my mind and my heart im separating the broken parts of my sanity, through my vanity flamboyant displays of uncertainty my indifference has made my soul impassive to the spirit of certainty it is possessive so selfish and so untamed showing no remorse or disdain to the piercing cries flooding in my eyes these rivers searching for an open door yet all they can do is hit the floor see thats where my sorrow belongs it has been trapped inside for so long the horror i feel as i watch my passions slip away i just sit and let time waste into the unfathomable daze i find myself in sometimes when i think about all of the times when i could have, i should have, but i just wouldnt i didnt know if i would be alright i walk by fear and not by sight my curse is to reimburse the perpetual nightmares of my dreams as they keep stealing all of my sleep i concede my lucidity to recycle this cycle of insanity i will be this way until new beginnings of my dying days whisk me away