a thousand miles...

Walking home every day down the same strange streets. A place I can’t come to terms with, a life I don’t want or need. Leaves float across the pavement like sheets of paper I used to write my thoughts on. Now just dried foliage, running, scattering scared, away from me. Like every love I’ve ever had. A family of street rats, a family of boozers and thieves This is home now, now, this is all I have This and this, my writing, My words, comforting in the bitter winter wind, Shaping sentences that tell of every stupid decision I’ve ever made But I still can’t decide on you I still don’t think I’ve thought this through I want to go home I want to go back from this evil Responsibility is something I can deal with Loneliness is not. Riding metal animals with no intention of stopping Jumping from platform to platform Always wondering what would happen if I didn’t get off Because I do. I go out, to the neon lit clubs and bars and I get off, Like someone you don’t want to know And that’s fine because I never knew me anyway It’s high time I learned, who I am, gritty inside and worse out. This time I’ll put my head in the sand I’ll work hard to make this life the one that every one dreams. No white picket fence will keep me in, just a little wooden house with a coin operated boy and a tea plantation in the back yard. My dog, and my house, and a gazillion miles from here, a thousand from you. ************************************************************* just a short note- this poem is a very raw and unedited type of free verse, an experiment which i hope will not be judged on its grammatical quality- as that is not the point. i am not so stupid that i cannot edit my own work but by reading this poem i hope you can understand why i have left it this way. i'm trying to extend the concept outwards, past the content and into the text itself. thanks for reading! cheers, gwen. ^_^