all hail the strongest of the strange

i need the poets to remind me that i am not crazy to want to live a life thats different to my boss my parents my sisters and brothers i owe a debt to the greats that can only be honoured by living truly living with disregard to the conventional means of subsisting that i live on now on less than minimum wage 6 nights a week in the grease of somebody elses takeaway somebody elses business grafting for their profits putting up with being the only person that really knows whats going on at work and in academia the same, me that chose it because in this country i'm not afraid of the faceless loan sharks of university i need the money they give me and i can write whatever they ask me read for my own pleasure and thus i recognise my privelege in Great Britain as a white european but i still remember my ancestry of servility the births, lifes, deaths in the fields that was part and parcel of the peasantry of feudal times that spills over into the chav 21st century of me hustling for the landlord the nobility of the council a modern day slavery to rent and bills the boredom if this is it if this is england if this is the working and middle class let me live at least a litte unconventional life let me love who i love as many as i like let me have my cake, let me eat it too let me be high and let me be low let me laugh at jokes you don't follow i've seen death and i know there's nothing after that can make you feel better for living only by proxy and protocol if i get bored in my job and relationship i'm not borderline, no psychopath if my feet itch for dancing and danger aeroplanes, trains, bedrooms with strangers any change of scenery i think this is normal to feel lighter than feathers to see myself in all others to lose ego in loving and laughter to hold the desire to bring all beings closer to me to hold unrelenting positivity i say this is mental health not mental illness i cleanse my fears with the poetry of the strongest of the strange of whom many did not understand until after they got money, death or fame thanks to them, the poets i don't sweat it too much when i know i appear different for not being unhappy in a marriage for not losing sleep over taxes for not craving for cameras i'm no careerist, no sadist, no masochist i don't want to live in fear of a crumbling system of a spanner in the works that grinds all gears to stillness a crisis in capitalism a social apocalypse i want to be free in the knowledge that i can live free of this shit even if its just as an impulsive idealist i give thanks to the realest who have had no fear to be true to the deepest desires of man like Diogenes rather than to live in social shackles of judgement i give thanks to the greatest when i need it