all our demons

The sky is the same blue The world will keep on turning Like it says in that old song But sometimes I wish it would all Just disintegrate so I wouldn’t feel so alone I’m surrounded by people who love me And yet there’s no one, and I mean no one With whom I can share, all my truths about myself, all my fears My sins, my trepidations, and my trials. Because who else would be so human? So humble as not to ask why, Why I’ve ruined half the chances I get Taking sidesteps back roads And dark alleys along my smallish road Emulating Alice and never listening to my own advice. Lists and lists of to do, aspirations, thrown away Serving only to waste trees In my lying to myself every day kind of life Everyday I try and step away from who you are and who I don’t want to be And everything I do wrong, seems like the world to me Makes me believe, beyond anything I want That I could easily slip and become you, all my fears Realized, ostracized, alone, terrified and numb. Addicted, dumb and stubborn, like a no longer rolling stone Every time I tell myself I’m trying another part of me says not enough Every time I feel good about something there’s a taste of bile behind the luck