And On and On and ...

was it ever anything more than happenstance as trusty illusions crumbled fell down and covertly drew away uncontested, with a note the sky smiled as I snickered inside myself picked up my beverage and toasted the delivery, palms up, hands high without a sound. why is it every fifth word is toxic from your mind, have you no shame never to blame, no not you pretending to begrudge your existence like that, rolling around creeping along, next to trouble scars of rejection scraping against common sense slapping apprehension fighting a chance to release once again the truth is you'll never change, and I have to ask myself what was it I was actually expecting honestly, that you would somehow modulate after all this time and see the beauty in each heartbeat feel the joy around each breath know the wonder of this life, or the magic of each day's surprise I put down the phone so I would no longer hear your diatribe and walked away, as you carried on as you always do, always will...