Ass inine tales...

At Hollywood tribute to Shirley MacLaine... Charlize a big fan, became very plain! How did she show it?...seemed a bit dumb... Stepped off the stage, and kissed Shirley's bum! Romanian female, a cellphone thief, Got her come-uppance, and came to grief! When cops in their search, cell number had rung... Call tones from her backside, clearly had sprung! The phone from her bum the doctor'd extracted, And firmly in interests of hygiene he acted! With disinfectant the phone he did spray... And restored it to owner, without further delay! A German inventor's new diesel fuel... A component of which seems very cruel! Felines who no more will be purring... As parts of dead cats in the diesel occurring! Belgian pair "rescue" from seas very rough... Was just a coupling of lovers in buff! Guy Richie's life with Madonna not boring... Nightly kicked out of bed for his snoring! Adapted from items obtained from ananova.com