Beautiful

(this is something i wrote a couple years ago its not my best work but i think it is good it has meening and it is an exspretion of myself. ITS something i wrote for my mother before I had the courge to leave her. I know it long but it will heplyou understand what a lot of my writes are about.) Happy days and sleepless nights, wingless. I used to feel so unique, And now I feel so skin deep, I count on my make up, To cover up my flaws, Not like you notice, Almost like it’s for a lost cause, I cry myself to sleep, Because I cannot keep your attention, And while I sit here and weep, You see me as the imperfection, I thought I could be strong, But it is killing me, Like all I do is wrong, Like it's my fault you do not see, The smiles I took to every place, Don’t you know that you are the reason? These tear stream down my face, Do you not see me cry? Or notice my rare laugh, I ask this along with why, This whole time you've held me back, You left me bleeding, Wanting to hide and screaming, and still I love you, Why do I love you? To only someday leave, It’s like asking, Why I close my crying eyes, When I long for you to see, The way you used to look at me, With all the beauty and the grace, Holding me close in your embrace, Wiping the tears off my face, I want to hear you say, Who I am, Do you want me? Or give a damn, Do think it’s quite enough, To leave me broken and so messed up, I just want to be worthy of your love But all I get is your push, And your shove, You try to pretend, That you'll always care, You always lie, When you say you'll be there, Sometimes I wish I was someone other then me, I am always trying to make you see, That I am truly the pretty, I have tried to find what ever is missing, Then I found that it was you, You where only around to dismiss me, I want to go back to glory, So that I can make myself happy, And maybe one day you will see, I am beautiful, Maybe one-day you’ll stand in awe, Look inside my heart and be amazed, That I still call you mom, I miss the days, When you looked at me, And didn’t just see Someone trying to be pretty.