Below the belt...?

In Lithuania a wannabee robber… Ended up a snivelling sobber! “Victim” brought him to his knees… While his jewels, she did squeeze! In terrible pain, no chance of release… Until taken away, by the police! In custody, cuffed, yet glad to be free… From grip of old lady, aged ninety three! Pantie thief banned, from remote Isles of Scilly! Is he soft-headed, or just simply dilly? *One sixty pairs nicked, along with sex toys… As said in the classics: “boys will be boys!” Safe Ride Home…taxi project in Brighton… For frisky fares, their problems to lighten! Free condoms given, before bodies enmesh… In backseat indulgence, in pleasures of flesh! Some condoms now bigger, says SA Durex… To fit larger members…more comfort in sex! But a survey has found, sizes not great… As men with big egos, exaggerate! *160 Contents of this piece adapted from stories in Backpage Section of news24.com.