Beyond the depths of despair

I wrote this when I was feeling really down. I'm not sure if it's poetry, but these words just came to me whenI needed a vent... I'm falling apart Losing control I'm not the pillar of strength thatI oncewas Not the person that everyone can turn to Or tell their problems to I only have ears for my own now The pain inside of me stays Constant Always there A dull ache that refuses to go away I cry alone at night Cry myself to sleep There's no one there to dry my tears To hold me tight and tell me it'll allbe OK I was always the strong one Remember? I'm not strong now I'm weak I'm shaking as I write this Not just from the cold I'm cold inside Hope has left me Along with everything else thatI once believed in I know better now What's the point of hope Or believing in others? What's the point? I want to hurt them Like they've hurt me Even worse still I want to hurt myself I never used to be so insane I'm losing it, Really losing it I need to find myself again Even in a fantasy world It doesn't really matter As long asI can hold on And gain control again I need that I need to be in control of something, Anything Just to survive If reality doesn't work for me I'll take fantasy Whatever I just have to stay alive That's all I need right now Just an anchor Something to cling to, Anything To stop me from going under I'm sinking even now Beyond the depths of despair Where's my pillar of strenght Hey?