Bipolar blues

This is not the mind that I would choose, so twisted and broken by the Bi-polar blues. I'm tired of taking this little pill, but it does curb my urge to kill. Some times all I can do is cry, and think about how much I would like to die. I sometimes hear voices from nowhere, and that's when I get really scared. Most of the time I hate going places, I hate people I see, I hate their faces. I lock up, can't catch my breath, my mind is a tornado with thoughts of death. Don't tell me to look on the bright side, I would rather slowly commit suicide. I haven't given up I'm still right here, trying to face up to the things I fear.