Charisma .That Special "Charm"

There are few people in this world, That have a special kind of charm about them, a certain glow, That makes me look up to these people, that i dont know, I must of had 10 different leaders by now, And for a small amount of time, I mimic their charm and use what works and make it mine... But the results are short-term, Thinking I have all the answers, I realized that I have lots to learn.. Regrouping is the worse, I feel like a different person, who's always unlucky and definently cursed.... My wall is my cross, and its not his crucifixion its mine, If i don't get myself out of this situation.. My bed is my rock, Which i sit on and think, I put my words down on paper, cause my world gets so heavy I might sink... Climbing out of my hole, My world is seen with a new set of eyes, but survival mode kicks in, so here comes the lies.. Once that phase is done, A new story will have begun... A tale of which has no begginning, middle or end, While Im out looking for my new "friend"