concubine

As I sit it seems the world has left me behind, I sit here with only the sounds of the world around me to keep me company. Lonely doesn’t even some close; if there is something past that I know I am further than even that. I don’t know how I got here. I remember a girl that wanted to be a writer, nurse, a singer. Vibrant full of life slowly that huge bright light that used to emanate from the deepest parts of my soul started to be sucked and shredded away. I tried to hold onto it and it seemed the harder I tried the harder it became, then a spark of light would flicker I would feel alive again for a very brief moment, so then I learned to use those moments to feel alive, wanted, significant it got to the point where I was completely numb unless, I was taking some kind of a risk whether it was sex, drugs, or alcohol. Before too long it took all three and the flicker just got dimmer every time and the more I chased that feeling the more it eluded me. Until I was left as I am just a shell fragile, weak, breakable, lonely, unwanted, and discarded……..