Cradle

As I held you, one minute peace and warmth. Then the waves were over our heads pulling up and down thrashing you know I don't know how much longer to continue holding one. Once more peaceful like a newborn remembering this is like lying a baby in it's crib for the first time that they are fast asleep and no longer need you to bounce them, almost sick to see you that peaceful. Then the last of the waves pinned us the ether.We knew it was over sullen eyes the spark was gone..so reminisce of your first day on this earth when I asked *why is he not crying*as you were wist away. This time the answer was 20years and 2 mos after that fated question and here I was again, but I didn't ask for I knew the dreadful answer. So I slowly tried to warm you as you lie cold and still.. Surely this can't be why , someones cruel sick joke of course I dropped the phone I screamed obscene words called them liars, Then once again staring at your peaceful body but I didn't want peace the agony held me in fits of rageful screams take me I am fucking nobody let him know what he will end up like. I'm repulsive take me...... No tears dropped for six months for the babes needed tending then he called his canine friend to go be with him tears fell once again. I thought the hurt would slowly dissipate but after 13 years I still feel that last hug before the cold set in. Rip jam