Dementia fog

Dementia fog Where am I now, the fog is getting thicker Some people seem to come and go but I am alone on the heathen Moors struggling to find the door I used to know my mind so well , I didn't have to think I trusted it with all my heart But now it's torn apart The games it plays are not too kind, we are no longer close and my memories they are stuck in time , that keep me in the past The world it looks a different place and I sometimes feels unsafe, and my mind and heart they drift apart , into the vacuum space. The arguments with family , well they've never been so bad , and often I feel so lonely because I'm making people sad. It's just my age I tell myself ..and all the others too. But when my dad said "just you wait" I never thought it would be so cruel. Mats can look like black holes and my hands they want to fiddle And all the time I'm only trying to comprehend this riddle My hair has lost it's colour like an autumn silver leaf And I want catch that person who is called " the memory thief,' Tv remotes and mobile phones , appear to be more complex, And then i seem to turn into an angry old TRex My wife she says “you're really changed, you used to be so passive”. But I stilI feel the same inside, but deep down I know this is massive! But shopping , reading, making tea are all things I now abide. So I just sit and go inside I wish my heart and head would make up. They got on so well before But my mind ,well it has a mind of its own now , and that one l can no longer trust. It doesn't always allow me to stay in the moment, and kidnaps my thoughts to haunt me on another day, that has no relevance then. My mind has become a time traveller, like a broken clock , with one hand missing But my heart and soul they are still intimate. They talk about the ex friend memory , who has emigrated to pastures new. The memory thief does not want anthing from them and therefore leaves them unscathed. and all they can do is watch ..as families join them and ache for what once was. But the heart and soul are a courageous team ,and can never stope an old man feeling , which has always been more powerful than any thought . So I shall struggle on into the fog and pull my worn out boots through trickle sticky memories and dream that every now and again I can still hold hands... with not just my past , but the everlasting present. We are all in the dark and every now and again we hold hands x I’d just like to hold hands with the whole of me again 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕