Depression and Anxiety

People still say ‘stop sulking and grow up’ and ‘what’s wrong with you?’ Hey my depression is a real illness, would you say the same if I had the flu? The answer is no, that’s why you need to understand That despite me smiling and obeying to normal demand Of work life and responsibilities, a house full of pride That when the mask slips you would see that I am dying inside My anxiety is killing me, a few short breaths from a panic attack I’m afraid to crumble, It’ll mean I can’t backtrack I wish I could open up and let loose all my trouble But my mouth and my throat gets tight, and I just fumble Like a football player getting ready to score Then missing the open goal to a crowd full of roars The roars are of laughter, now that’s how I feel Why should anyone care when this illness ain’t real I keep everything bottled up inside and close every door No one’s let in I can’t take any more My depression and anxiety burns at me like lasers I’ve found my escape in the form of a razor But its not my time to go, no not yet I have a family to look after, but heaven is ready But I can say God ‘I’m just not steady’ But one day I’ll go, and the race will begin Those doors will open and let me in My friends and family judge me for everything I do But you try spending a day in my shoes My anxiety makes me read into things too much Makes me look ‘fussy’ over social events and such I focus on the ‘worst case scenario’ and try to prevent Or make some excuse to just leave an event But that’s my life, a daily struggle The fact I get up and do not buckle Deserves some credit, but that does not occur All I ever get is you’re not being fair The darkness comes at night and my heart becomes empty The feeling of being alone, my thoughts I can’t flee In the morning when I pull back the covers will it be me? Or the other me, the one that screams to be taken Where depression has took hold, unable to awaken Consumed by hate, a feeling of numbness Suicidal thoughts in my head, that I’m just a fungus But people still think that I can snap out of it That everyone has problems so it’s not legit They believe depression is faked in some way When in reality I fake being okay All I ask is please don’t give up on me Because I think am worth it, but you may disagree