Generic

Why do I miss the very thing 
that has torn apart 
countless friendships, 
stolen months of my life, 
and tormented me 
to the point of 
screaming 
for death? 
But there is 
no denying it, 
I want this; 
my arsenal of blades 
to return to me. 
I hate this numb ache, 
how I don't understand 
this world, I hate 
letting pleasure slip 
through to my 
undeserving soul. 
Finally I've found 
my identify 
in this stone courtyard. 
Curse this void 
banishing my darkness. 
Here I hide 
from responsibility, 
for what if I fail? 
So, 
leave me 
to my ill-fated 
writhing silence 
filled with screams 
whispering voices, 
leave me to my river 
of blood that carries me 
to relief, 
let me drown 
in my thoughts and dreams 
that sing of long 
desired fatality.

Desired Fatality