ermine the earwig is shocked

speaking of shocking things as people do these days i noted an incident in the centre last week which really made my blood run cold a portly but dignified gentleman with a green monocle and a nonchalant manner suddenly reached up to his left eye pulled it from its socket and ate it the consternation in the chooch was immediate coffee cups were upturned on all sides and fay traders screamed loudly i sat huddled in the corner the chooch wadding, or was it the honsic, was equal to the occasion sweating profusely he drew on his dignity and said you cannot do this ere you cannot intimidate members of the fay trade team i am wise beyond my many years, man and youth in this chooch you are a glass eater and that was a glass eye why cant people mind their own biz that was no glass eye it was a pickled onion this is a curse of the chooch that waddings are forever attempting to interfere and restrict the liberty of the individual he picked himself up swallowed his cup of coffee strode into the vestry and passed out of my life for ever…. ermine