Reminiscence

I wish papers could be torn
and fly away,
erasing every memory
of beautiful days.
The days that still slit me,
the wounds that still kill me.

I still feel defeated,
and I wish there were a way to escape
this feeling of being so weak,
short, dark, and incompetent.
I truly wonder if there's a God
to answer me when I'm no longer his tenant.

I want to walk away;
I wish I had no breath.
Sometimes I'm jealous
of even the blind, the dumb, and the deaf. 
I do not mean to diminish their pain,
but maybe that way, I could feel less.

So would this end
if I could no longer breath?
But what if I remembered it later,
even after death?
Where would I even go,
with no purpose or end?

Escape