Extract from an Absurdist's Thesis

Extract from an Absurdist’s Thesis Swear it on your mother’s life you didn’t take it? I swear it on my mother’s life. So where is it? It can’t just disappear. I told you, I don’t know where it is. Oh, I’m so disappointed in you. This has nothing to do with me. Well if you don’t help me find it, you can forget Mike. What’s Mike got to do with it? I’m the one setting you up on a date with him. So you’re going to punish me? There is no one else in this house, you must have misplaced it. What about you? You never misplace things? I’m careful. Obviously not. Look, just please help me find it. I don’t know what it looks like. Oh, you liar. I saw you with it on Saturday. You never. I never had it. I swear. Check under the cushions. You already checked there. Just double check. How much do those things cost? A lot. I’ll buy you a new one. I don’t want a knew one, I want that one, it means something to me. Oh, I can’t be annoyed with all this. I’m going to meet Mike. You are not. I’ll phone him and tell him some little secrets about you. You wouldn’t. Well help me find it. You blackmailing bitch. Don’t just stand there, find it, now! Fuck you and fuck Mike. I don’t need your shit. Im outta here. Don’t bail on me, I need that belly button ring. Please. Go to hell.