Fairytale of nightmares

I wouldnt draw breath until you almost granted me permission first that night you could have stabbed me to death and it could not have hurt much worse delighting in your vicious pleasure of telling me about him who you were going on a date with, as I fell apart within.. you watched, the shining in your eyes I never failed to remember you showed your true face then,that darkcold night in deep November I bought into all you done, without my participation you could have had no power over me, it was my premeditation my longing and my sick quest to have my pain gratified and you hurt me so deeply many times, a mortal would have died perhaps its because I'm still arguing logic, saying I shouldnt feel this way holds me back from finding she who loves me, I've lost her another day because though I love you, its a dark and sick regret and a fairytale of nightmares, one I longnow toforget. My love loyalty and honour you always had them and you know so do the only decent thing you could and let my spirit go.