Falling Deep

Again the day has unexpectedly begun, my vision still impaired. I look out of the window only to find the usual: laughter, love and joy. the long search for this laughter, my unembraced love, thinking of this joy, oh how do I attain? Why??? Why?? Oh why can’t this be me? Feeling the walls closing in, directed to the centre of my existence. I tear the curtains and throw them to the ground, trampling on the incessant heartbreak that is my life. Why??? Why?? Oh why doesn’t anyone acknowledge me? Falling deeper, deeper than I could ever imagine. The stench of fear, this lack of omnipotence filling the air. Again night has fallen, and still I find myself alone, trapped in an impenetrable shell. Thinking……. Thinking about what could have been, gradually growing weaker, weaker by the second. Time!!!, oh this time, ticking away so slowly, wishing that a blade of sweet, oh such sweet relief could lay me to rest. An onslaught so long yearned for. I wait for so very long, staring outside still, only to find that what I had comprehended to be true is the total opposite of what I am. But come this day, still some left, hoping tomorrow won’t fall victim to undesireable theft. Abé Claassen