Falling Into Reality

This poem starts of as a dark, hopeless piece and ends abruptly. Guess I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed...more insanity seems to pore from my mind, not sure where any of this is coming from but maybe one of you could enlighten me. What felt like a decade of Comfort and easy companionship, Took on a different hue a second ago. What i thought, what i assumed my position to be... Now seems unclear. I'm stumbling over thoughts and betraying feelings, It feels like something critical, yet something beyond my awareness, Beyond my control... Is pushing at me. Only now hit by the realisation that i want Something improbable, something Forever beyond my grasp. Shades of green and blue laced with Seductive appeal blinds my rationality. Holding the silent discord of desire. An orchard in the center of a cornflower sky. Nothing is for me, nor belongs to me. NO-one shall ever be let into my heart, for that would be too treacherous an undertaking... There is no sadness or disappointment, No anger or heart clenching pain. Just the sharp deep shard of loss. We'll never again be important to one another, Never share the arb details of our experiences... You are not there anymore, Maybe you never were... Yet I still feel faint traces of your presence, Still hear your voice. Calming me, offering me something Unconditional. Life brings inevitable change Find your happiness And i will find mine. Away from here.