Family- A Merging of Histories, A Blending of Blood.

In Buddhism, there is a belief in the inevitability of suffering... which is conquered only through reincarnations, overcome only by attaining Nirvana. But I believe that love is a balm- it cannot undo pain but serves as a reminder that for every act of violence, there are others - of kindness, of charity and though many are still prejudiced others transcend differences, working together, forming unions... And this brings me to my own family - a merging of histories, a blending of blood. Unlike my parents, and all my ancestors before them, I was born here, in the United States; still in school, I learned of The Middle Passage, The Trail of Tears, and smallpox blankets and I have heard of the signs that said: " No dogs or Mexicans allowed." Looking at me, at my light skin, one would think that "White privilege" protects me, ( What can I know of such things?) But there are other histories- those of labor camps and displacements, roundups and hangings, firing squads, and rape as an act of war and of those who disappeared - forever. These histories depicted in Budapest's Museum of Terror and my knowledge that, for my father and uncle, "The Gulag Archipelago" was more than just "a book." And now, a fast forward to today, as I sit here pondering the words "Melting Pot" What do they mean... to me? I think of my niece, - my half sister's daughter and that she is half Hungarian, of course, but from her father, the other half is Carolina Gullah mixed with Louisiana Creole... I also think of her new grandson, Nahir, Black baby boy, will he ever know that his great-great grandfather was lynched- not in Alabama, not in Mississippi, not by a hooded mob - but by Russians on the streets of Budapest? And my Mexican husband, deported, illegally for a non- violent, non- drug related misdemeanor he is more Lipan Apache than Spanish, but also Basque, perhaps with a bit of Moor. Growing older, I look back something primal calls me- roots, blood. I want to see Hungary - if only once more... and I want to show my family its beauty- the Danube, and Parliament building, the many forts and castles, forested hills, quaint villages. I want them to taste chicken paprika, stuffed peppers and chocolatey creme-filled pastries... But I worry for them xenophobia is strong, not only in the U.S. but in many parts of Europe. Would my husband be mistaken for Roma? will my niece be stared at? Yes, we all need a long overdue vacation, and the anticipation shouldn't be marred by "what ifs" by the possible ignorance of a few... " Focus on the positive." " Keep plodding onward." - words of wisdom to be taken to heart - after all, my family has already overcome so much - we can't let anything steal our joy.