God's game

God seems to be playing games, Giving me a day in the sunshine only to spend a month in the rain. God give me the strength to change what I can, Because some of us do have the desire and will to live the right way. Help me understand what is going through my mind, Why I have to live with a smile on my face and a heart drowned in pain. How can you tie my hands and allow me to watch my brother’s life Fade away. I used to believe in holly justice, I used to believe even if I lived in sin. I used to believe you would always be my rescue But you continue to let me fall. I used to believe love was a beautiful feeling, Something pure and something clean. But now I am afraid of it and I have built a wall. It’s so hard to see some people Waste their lives living in immorality, When other wish they had a chance to keep on trying. It puts a knot on my throat and tears nearly fall from my eyes When I see so much potential just go to waste And you do nothing about it to make a change. Dear god I admit I have made mistakes and I thank you for letting me See my own wrong ways, I will be a better person every single day But I hate that not everybody can be the same way. Why allow some to live a life that is just a disappointment and a joke, And those who have dreams and goals whose life has just begun Have no chance at all. Life is a bitch! I’ve learned it first hand. There is not a moment I do not feel like crying So I blind fold myself to not become insane. Some dream to be rich And live lives I don’t understand. But I keep hoping and praying That you will someday you will end the rain. Maybe I’m crossing the line For being resentful and disrespectful. Maybe I am creating my own demise for feeling this way But my life has become too hard and stressful. I live with a thorn stuck in my heart and instead of bringing me relief I find myself in a thunderstorm of grief. HABID S. GARCIA