Haikus for Creeps

SMELLS LIKE SEX & CANDY Candy little boy? Take a rest inside my van. Need help with your pants? STREAKER Naked in the night. You wore a purple night gown. Don't call the po-po. TRANNY That is NOT your tea. Don't you see the lip stick prints? They are from a man. NEITHER A BORROWER NOR A LENDER BE Pissed myself again! A soiled pair of blue jeans. You want them back still? SURPRISE! Hanging chandalier. Inside...A hidden camera. I watch you sleeping. FIRST IMPRESSIONS Ready for your class? Don't forget to smile big. Something in your teeth? CANKLES Sodium intake Causes water retention, Makes my ass look fat. FUCKED Study for a test. There will be no sleep tonight. Bummer, you got weed? SUCKS Bicycle rider. Seat up my ass and flat tires. Damn, am I there yet? WHAT LIES BENEATH...? Thick and furry legs, Broad shoulders and big ass feet. Am I woman yet?