Help

I need help My world is crumbling My effort to hold it together Is no longer working Sanity stands fast against the onslaught The pounding is relentless Then the emotion explodes Insanity, rage, blind energy release I curl up to protect them Then it ends and, I rebuild the wall What do you do when All that you are Everything that defines you The idiosyncrasies that allow you To see the world in beautifully different ways Are the things that push Every! single! person! you meet away What do you do when Bound by moral code And neurological limitations You must try to make a difference No matter what the cost to your mind. And those efforts bash Like a small piece of lead On a stone balustrade Against the utter failure of almost everyone To understand how your mouth Presents what is in your mind What recourse is there When all those meant to help, Parents, Doctors, and Those who use to call you friend Say the only option is medication. Medication that is designed To wash away those idiosyncrasies Which define the very differences That makes you who you are If I have to change how my mind works To keep the relentless decay Of my mental orbit From killing me Am I not already dead? What happens when Clinging to the one hand hold The few kind and beautiful souls Who know only the good things Posted in times of clarity Is no longer enough, Because the falls are harder And you are getting too tired To clime back out of the canyon To grasp it, I feel like I have lived a thousand years. The mind that once figured out How the laws of Relativity allow The human consciousness to exist After the physical construct crumbles, And dreamt of traversing the cosmos Learning an infinite amount of knowledge As the universe slowly flies apart Toward its own Atacama, Now only wants to end. So what do I do?

Mental Journey

I am on a journey of the mind. Contemplating the universe on every scale, and doing a complete introspective exploration. I may never be a literary academic, but I share my humble thoughts in hope that they may inspire others.

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