His Dream

Lying awake, the night has surrounded me. You absence beside me is literally pounding me. My thoughts are sporadic, chaotic, and wild. I miss your presence, your essence, your smile. I try to think of other things, like the smell of the ocean. Its aroma seeps through the window, absentmindedly left open. But like evil thoughts and temptations in a minions head. My mind only focuses on your absence from our bed. I think of our time together on that very same beach. Our home away from home, but our home has been breached. Forcibly entered by pain, tragedy and death. The ocean we once adored stole your last breath. My mind has eroded to the point where only your memory remains. I can see only your beauty, but your eyes only exemplify my pain. I reach for the gun, my hands fumble with the drawer. But before I pull back into bliss Ibegin toeye the door. I set down the weapon and take a few steps outside. The roar of the ocean lures me to the beginning of the tide. I look towards the moon hovering over me, eyeing me. I take a few more steps, knee deep, the cold not surprising me. Deeper and deeper, finally my head submerges. Through my shadowy thoughts, peace emerges. The weight of the waves washes over me. Slowly suffocating, I want only what is supposed to be. I see your face, deeper down in the salty water. You beckon me closer, I have no choice but to follow. I'm caught tight in the grip of the tide, the end is near. I will join you, my love, and I end my own life without fear. I drift further from reality, forgetting to fight. Darker and darker I am closer to light. I awake with a jolt, sitting up tight. You speak from beside me, "Is everything alright?"