Hitting Rock Bottom

I lay awake trying to sleep Ignoring the pills staring at me There’s so many feeling I wish to effect I wonder what will happen After they've been consumed But instead I push them away Trying to be strong Trying to be brave With that not being an option I look at the blades Long their touch deep in my veins Blinded by the tears I turn away Not wanting blood to take their place The sheets are wet the pillows soaked I just couldn’t hurt them by cutting again This, my promised him and to them. They believe that I'm strong, That I don’t fake, But I would do anything For this to go away I try to be strong I try to be brave I bottle up my hurt And push aside my pain I won’t let it pour No blood will I shed I fall to the floor On my knees and hands I can not scream I only cry My heart seems to shattered As do I My body's cold as my heart burns Deep inside from Christ I yearn No one here me now As I lie here Your voice is still echoing in my ear I wish you know and could hole me close Your arms around me, drives away all my fears I wish you where here only for tonight Just to wipe away my tears and to tell me That everything was going to be alright But soon I this will pass It’s over just the same It stings when it creeps back I hate having to say that I to lose my ground I cry again as I try to be strong I try to be brave I am not stronger then you.