How I Feel

So much anger, so much rage It’s a beast with in me, locked in a cage I’m scared of what’d happen to me If that beast was set free On the surface I appear alright Inside my anger burns so bright I feel down and low But I don’t let that show There’s really only one cure for this To be with her, in our special bliss But now she has gone There is no way I can move on You are going with other guys I’ll sit here and wait for my tears to dry You forgot our love and memories Forgot what we had, and what we could be It’s like what you said was fake That you never meant what you said I still mean what I said Even though to you I am dead My heart is in so much pain I will never love again Every beat is agony This is what’s become of me I want to feel your lips and skin Your softness of your hair To see your eyes, feel your breathe I am upset and angry now I know you’re no longer there When we held hand it felt like our souls were one I made you laugh so much, we had great fun Your smile brightened my day But now that’s gone away When we first mate I was a prick Now all I am is one giant melancholic I have lost the will to live I still have all my love to give You are constantly on my mind I’m always looking at you My love for you is blind All I can think of is us two You kiss so well I loved the way we’d bite our lips I was drugged up by your lovely smell Your body is amazing, you have perfect hips From the moment we sat next to each other I was yours You were oh know not him, and you should have avoided me In your life, much chaos I have caused I still think that we are linked by fate or destiny I know you ever so well Your thoughts and feelings I can always tell That scared you ever so much That I had with you, that ‘golden’ touch I softly kiss your ear and you’d squirm You’d be tickled like a wriggly worm I’d try pushing the moment too far, you’d complain and mumble The silence would be broken, my belly would rumble We’d laugh at me being a stupid In all seriousness I thought we were brought together by cupid All my feelings are and were laid bare And now it seem you didn’t and no longer care So many things are a reminder for me I am living a torture for all eternity My bed, certain songs, places, your cup Why did we have to give up? I only ever meant well I didn’t mean to seem obsessive or possessive From me you should of kept your distance Between us we should have had a resistance I was only ever bad news I am sorry for some friends you did loose I became what I set out to avoid I am not me without you, I am completely devoid Maybe I should be thankful for the time we had Surely not all of it was bad But we were so great together I truly think and thought it’d last forever I know you made a mistake I punished you more than you should have had to take I did forgive you, but I could not entirely forget I kept you close, trapped in a net I can tell you anything From my deepest desire, to the weirdest thing Into you I poured my heart and soul Pushing you away was not my goal You saw and brought out the real me You gave rise to my true identity Now that has gone into its shell Once again I’ll hide my good side ever so well You’re the best things that’s ever happened to me My life has been filled with death and tragedy Once again history has been repeated My happiness and will to live has been depleted I always appear so cocky and so sure But in all honesty I am just so insecure I hate myself and the way I am I want to be a different man I sit and think at how pathetic I’m being But I cant help the way I am feeling I do wish they’d go But all they do is seem to grow I cant take this no more I had to let this all out I’m sorry if I’m such a bore I cant figure a way out To my friends I am sorry For putting you through so much worry I have been put some of you through a lot My friendship for you I have not forgot didn’t mean for you to be woken up at five Our friendship hasn’t though taken a nose dive All we’ve been through I truly don’t deserve you Some things I wish I didn’t do Like not get in the car with you You really are a great mate I can count on you to tell it straight This is where this draws to an end I don’t want to drive people round the bend I can write so much more But that’s for another day, I don’t want to be a bore!