hurt

so much hurt that a cut brings no pain. so much disappointment, no hope remains. my heart still beats, even with this hole. my heart hurts now with a crushed soul. sometimes some things are too good to be true. sometimes, but why did it have to be with you. why does it hurt so bad, we havent even met. why does it have to hurt, everything was all set. so many songs singing me what im going through. so many feelings and no idea what i should do. emotinally numb, just a shell, broken inside. emotionally void, empty, my heart has died. have we severed our love, made it just a game. have the promises been lies, can it ever be the same. a curse of unhappiness placed for me to endure. a curse of heartache leaving me only unsure. there is no happily ever after in the cards for me. there is no denial on my part, now i wait and see. now my anger is fueled by the hurt and the pain. now my narcotics are all that are keeping me sane. why did you do this, reject my love due to the past. why did it have to be me, i believed we'd last. i am numb, i am jaded, i am sad, my heart is cold. i am losing my mind, my being ready to implode. my life is failing, my reason to smile is now gone. my life was being planned around you, thats done. this blade doesnt do justice, the numbs still there. this blade could fix everything, but i wouldnt dare. where do i go from here, i loved you to the core. where do i find sollace when our love is no more. my love for you is so real, so deep, undyingly true. my love is my curse, it would be easier to hate you. -lori antoinette