I Have Not

I have listened to the edge of insanity groped for a reason, an answer, a clue all the while slipping further away into the recesses of pitiful and desolate blue... I find myself sitting on idle waiting for anything that sounds like a favorable thought where's my encouragement? dead, I think along with the rest of me as I slowly rot here in the valley of indecision, life filters by I hear it sometimes, laughter and crying with hope yet, I am stuck in this evil, sick joke of back winded strides from decades ago, somehow the madness has found me swallowed what was left of the antidote slapped away my hands as they rose to reach puked on my dreams and left me with less than I had ever conceived ...