it feels like i have died inside

my mind flutters and flies away, reality falters and life perversely holds on with its tenacious audacity, i see the sun but feel no warmth the chill bores down my spine in search of soul, the questions never still ..but what do i who effortlessly gave away my self, my pride ever gain from these repetitive idiosyncratic mindless fucking thoughts... be still, be calm, be thy self, it whispers in-audibly.. I hear it not! i want to rage and tear and rip at these bonds of self-made ties that bind, why can't i just be free, and if i am, it questions then what, there is no one, no other who can know or be with you, there is only you who can be with me.. and still the rage, the fire ingnite and burn hypnotically almost uncontrollably i glimpsed was blinded touched was burnt i who always seek, shall not, no more!