Joy, or Lack Of

Joy, or Lack Of Please don’t lash out at me all I want is for you to see the pain that goes on inside the pain that I've never cried I am not a beast I will not hurt you in the least I am down on my knees cant you hear my pleas my pleas of anguish and oppression I hope this doesn’t turn into an obsession an obsession of feeling down or out the feeling of being without of being without my life and having to live with strife can anyone not see that this isn’t how life should be only knowing what’s been showing and feeling without healing a pain that wont end a pain you cannot amend what do you think of that this isn’t my habitat I don’t want to go away but right now I am going to and fray hoping I find a cure one that is bright and pure one that may be able to suppress and maybe transgress even though I feel down nevertheless I show no frown I do not want people to know I am sad then they’ll wonder about the life I've had I am mad at the world for this creating some sort of artificial bliss one that does not last forever one that we must endeavor it must be some sort of crime to treat us well or sublime to give us the respect we deserve but the world hasn’t the nerve so here I am surrounded by dark offended by almost every remark not knowing the reason that brought on this treason this darkness engulfs the earth sucking it clear for all its worth I long to see the light and get out of this dark night if only there was a way that I could go out and play with all the toys and gadgets I've received I would be quite pleased please god deliver me from this evil from this state of emotional upheaval and bring me happiness and joy one they cannot destroy if you do this or you don’t lord I swear you will never be ignored I will always love and you will always be known as the lord who gave me joy or lack of